Little Egypt/Stour Valley Mummers - 2002

A new script, written by Marilyn Clarke, John Proffitt and Steve Clarke
©2002 Stour Valley Mummers; Morris Men of Little Egypt

There are a few bits that need tweaking: let us know if you have any ideas.

We don't feel particularly proprietorial about the script, but we would welcome an acknowledgement if you want to use it: more to the point, we'd just like to know!

The Martyrdom of St Edmund.

1. Introduction


Room: Make room, make room, my gallant boys
And give us room to rhyme
We've come to show St Edmund's play
Upon this Christmas time
But here are two who will not fail
Green Man and Herne appear
To oversee our ancient tale
At the turning of the year

Herne: I am Herne, half man, half deer
I answer England's call
When the hunting horn's heard clear,
When Dane and Saxon fall

Green Man: I am the spirit of the wood
Deep-grained in oak and yew
I speak of evil and of good
Turning old ways into new

Room: It is the year of 869, the Danes are at the door
King Edmund and his Saxon men are here to take the floor.

2. Saxon Jollity

Carl: Come charge your horns with mead my men
Our king is come from Bury
Come Radweld, Edith, Piers and friend
And let us all make merry

Edmund: Here stand I proud English king
And Edmund is my name
I've fought the foe and made blades ring
Here's death to any Dane

Edith: My husband says it right -
Here's death to any foe
At his side I'll proudly fight
And to the battle go.

Radweld: I'll boldly follow king and queen
In such esteem they're held
At their side I've always been
My name it is Radweld

Piers: So if your armour springs a leak
Then Radweld is your man
Just pour it in, give it a tweak,
He'll seal you if he can.

3. Gloom and despondency

Drumming heard - , rhythmically,

Carl: Hark the sound of warlike drum
Our Saxon shores invaded
Oh bloody 'ell, the Vikings come,
Are all our chances faded?

Enter Danes, brashly, as only they can…

Guthrum: Stand back you puny Saxon dogs
Make way for this Great Dane
I've landed with my mighty pack
Bold Guthrum is my name.
I'll quell these mangey Saxon curs
And force them into silence -
The censor will curtail this play
There's too much Saxon violence.

Sven: My name is Sven, the Danish champ,
I'm here to fight a Saxon.
I'll rape and pillage, I'm not camp,
So don't you start relaxing.

Radweld: I'll take the challenge Danish scum
And on this field we'll fight.
My sword will cleave you head to bum
And make you squeal all night

Sven: My arm is strong, my sword is sharp
I'll make you play the angel's harp

[they fight, Radweld dies messily]

Edmund: Alas my faithful fighter true
Who's going to get revenge for you?

Carl: Trust me O king, your faithful guard
Will take revenge for him
My blade is sharp, and I'm well 'ard
The Dane's light will grow dim

Lars: I, Lars, declare the Danish light
Never will diminish,
Go Sven and with this 'ard man fight
And all his boasting finish.

[they fight, Sven falls mortally wounded, excruciatingly]

Sven: My eyes are dim, I cannot see
He was too bloody hard for me.

Erik: Great Dane, Great Dane let me avenge
My bosom buddy Sven
We've fought from Oslo to Stonehenge
He was the best of men

Guthrum: Step forth brave Erik, do your worst
And show this pup your mettle
Slash him send him to his hearse
Your weapon's in fine fettle

[Erik and Carl fight; Carl dies, bloodily]

Carl: Alas poor Edmund, I am slain
Our Saxon hopes are down the drain

Edmund: While saintly Edmund lives and breathes
We Saxons aren't defeated
Let me now my sword unsheathe
Let battle be completed.

Guthrum: So Edmund, you're some kind of saint?
Dressed like a girl, warrior you ain't.

Edith: Mock not the fighters of the fairer gender -
I am a Saxon queen.
I'll fight you now, you Danish bender,
You don't know where I've been

Margaret of Norway: You may well be a Saxon Queen
But I'm Marg'ret of Norway
I wouldn't fight him just like that
But you can do it your way.

Guthrum: Hear that, you scurvy Saxon dogs
Let all this talk be done
We Danes will hack you into logs
Before the setting sun

[double fight; Edmund v. Guthrum; Edith v. Erik (handbag); Edmund is slain as is Edith: Lars and Margaret of Norway encourage all the while]

Piers: Oh what moans and groans are heard on the battlefield …
I said … what moans and groans are heard on the battle field?
Our brave King Edmund's lost his head
And is bleeding on the ground
His English body now lies dead
Let funeral trumpets sound.

Room: Now we must call for wisdom old
To bring life back to the land
Where are the spirits of the woods
Who'll make these heroes stand?

Herne: My magic plucked from outside time
Will make these warriors rise
To breathe again and so to climb
From death to worldly wise.

Green Man: My magic plucked from ancient wood
Will give these warriors breath
To conquer evil with their good
To move to life from death.

Herne and GM mumbo-jumbo; Guthrum and Edmund rise (+others) to confront each other again.

Guthrum: Come Edmund stand and fight once more
And I will finally settle the score

Edmund: Come Guthrum fight me where I am
I'll slice you like a Danish ham.

H/GM: Stay both your hands and stop the fight
And turn this darkness into light.

Edith: So from the powers of ancient magic
Such good has come from something tragic.

Erik: Let glasses rattle and rafters ring
Let's all raise our voices these words to sing:

"We wish you a merry Christmas …"

Cast, 2002, in no particular order:


Room: Marilyn Clarke
Herne the Hunter: John "Proffo" Proffitt
Green Man: Steve Clarke

The Saxon Shore:

Edmund, Saint and Martyr: Mark Corby
Edith: Maggie Leopold
Carl: Neville Parry
Piers: Crawford Kingsnorth
Radweld: Geoff Monk

The Vikings of the Longship


Guthrum, a revolting Viking: (Sir) David Jukes (typecast again)
Sven: Bill Impossible-Surname
Erik: Martin Cleverdon
Lars: Mike Hamilton
Margaret of Norway: Hazel (Mrs Nu-Nu) Fleming


Page maintained by Stephen Clarke, stephen.clarke@ukonline.co.uk. Copyright(c) . Created: 28/12/2002 Updated: 31/12/2002