Press Statement Press Statement Press Statement


Glemsford
31.03.02 23.15 GMT
For immediate release

Creation of the Independent Glemsford Inshore Rescue Lifeboat Service

At an inaugural meeting held in the Committee Room of the Angel Inn, Glemsford, tonight, it was unanimously agreed that the formation of the Independent Glemsford Inshore Rescue Lifeboat Service was a pressing necessity.

The following decisions were made by those present:

  1. that in light of the growing threat of global warming, Glemsford was an ideal place to site an Inshore Lifeboat
  2. that through the good offices of landlord and proprietor, Mr P. Thorogood, the barn to the rear of the Inn would serve as a lifeboat station
  3. that rails would be laid to the end of the present car park to act as a launch ramp
  4. that the purpose of the station would be to offer help and support to all those in need of lifesaving, even if they lived in Cavendish or Melford. In the true spirit of Glemsford lifesaving, the team would not discriminate on grounds of residence or intoxication
  5. that while 4) holds true without exception, it applies only to the saving of human life. Emergency calls from Cavendish and Melford would not include the rescuing of antique furniture, paintings and curios of any kind, nor of Barbour jackets threatened with inundation, nor of any pet King Charles Spaniels, Pekinese dogs or plastic ducks, or similar trivial idiosyncrasies of said villages.
  6. that membership of the IGIRLS would be open to all residents of the Parish of Glemsford, but selection of the crew would depend on regular appearances of candidates at the Angel Inn for practice, including the dissemination of the "Grog Ration"
  7. that a Rescues of Note board would be constructed to record the efforts of the crew
  8. that the uniform of the IGIRLS will comprise any form of waterproof clothing, NOT including green wellingtons. Yellow sou'westers are compulsory for all formal occasions.
  9. founder members of the IGIRLS include Mr P. Thorogood (ex officio), Mr T. Townsend (hereinafter called Tim), Jos (hereinafter called Jos), Mr S. Plumb (who will represent IGIRLS at West Midlands and Chicago conferences), Mr N. Porter (volunteer medical auxiliary, aka ship's surgeon (without saw)), Mr R. Sippett, Mrs R. Townsend (hereinafter known as Rosie), Mr S. Clarke, Mr R. Plumb, Mrs M. Clarke, Ms H. Jay (figurehead) and Ben (mascot). The omission of any names from those present at the inaugural meeting is unintentional: any who wish to be added to this list should leave the (2002) price of a pint behind the bar.
  10. that application for membership of the crew and team may, in the short term, be made by the simple process of buying one of the aforementioned a pint.
  11. that, while suggestions as to the name of the craft, such as the MV Titanic, MV Abbot's Triumph, MV Saucy Roy, MV Nah Bollocks and MV Spirit of Mo, were undoubtedly welcome, decisions on naming the craft would be left for the time being.

Any questions relating to the above should be addressed to the Angel Inn, Egremont St. Glemsford, or via email to Steve Clarke


Page maintained by Stephen Clarke, steve@little-egypt.org.uk. Copyright(c) . Created: 01/04/2002 Updated: 01/04/2002