Rejoice Brothers & Sisters, Issue 5 is upon youThe online newsletter of The Morris Men of Little Egypt

Mystery man in Squire takeover bid. We expose in this issue

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... World Exclusive below! ... "My key loss hell": ... Pat The Hat sobs at car entry denial! ...

THE MAGIC THAT WAS SEMLEY

WITHOUT a shadow of a doubt, our trip to Mikurenda Country in June proved to be a complete and utter success! What glorious weather! What glorious ale! What glorious company! What glorious scenery! What glorious dancing…errr….anyway….
The trip there and back may have taken a little while, but it was worth every mile (even every minute of Bangs's neverending tales..). We certainly earned our beer and victuals on our arrival and were royally looked after by Joe and his 'family' at the Benett Arms…and for the rest of our visits there - the Saturday evening feast was fabulous! And the Jack Daniels….!
No doubt everyone has fond memories and little moments that they may recall in years to come, but overall it was a cracking weekend of fun - just what Little Egypt are good at really! We visited some fab places - Corfe Castle was a splendid setting, complete with a Train Station. Golden Hill was another memorable location, and particularly interesting to dance on!
We must give thanks to Mark for all his organising; the days were a great success. Mind you, the weekend certainly tested the stamina of the men! Ready for next year? Phew!



THEY warned him, but he would not listen at all. "Beware the Demon Drink" was the cry from the Morris Men Of Little Egypt, a group of teetolars, but would he take any notice?
John Flemming, or Mr 'X' as we shall call him (to protect his family), quickly degenerated into an uncontrollable drunkard. The picture shows the extent of his decline into debauchery; he even has to be helped to hold his glass; it's enough to turn one to drink.
Asked to comment, Mr X replied in a barely audible voice, "I'll see you, err, Jimmy?"
The case continues….



Didn't we have luverly time etc etc…. and, by golly we did.
As usual for summertime, the weather did us no favours, but we had a ripping time in any case. The good people of Southwold gave us their usual warm welcome.
However, the high spot for me was undoubtedly St Peter's Brewery near Bungay! I know everyone was impressed with the place, and in particular, the beer!! What an incredible range of ales!!
The next high spot was The King's Arms in Laxfield: brilliant. I think we all had a terrific time; what a wonderful boozer: great atmosphere, great beer, great landlord… fabulous.
Just a thought though, those two blokes with the Bentley and the young girl….what do you reckon happened later that night….?
Come on everyone, you'll be getting a bit bored with this magazine soon if you don't send in some articles yourself!! It'll just be full of stuff by me!! Just a few words on any subject loosely related to Morris will do!! Feel free to vent your angst (eh?) and be as controversial as you like!! Ta…

THE SQUIRE'S A PRATT

Moves are afoot to overthrow the Squire's position, and the protagonist is a relatively unknown 'fluid control' err… 'expert', recently spotted on a golf course.
PRAM

Our reporter caught up with the mystery figure, who shall be known as Mr X, to quiz him in relation to his ambitions to take over the world and Little Egypt in particular. "Everyone knows the Squire's a pratt" he said, "let's face it, he looks like a lump of lard; he's always chucking his toys out of his pram, and, frankly, my car's better than his"
WIG

We later phoned the current Squire, a Mr N Parry, and asked for his comments. "He can just get outta my Manor," he said, fuming, "everyone knows he wears a wig, and, anyway, the heater in car doesn't work and he's got a flat tyre. The case continues….



"Yum, what shall I have to drink next?!!" A row of beer bottles yesterday.
BELCHAMP ST PAUL BIRTHDAY PARTY
Was there a problem with Squire's internal gyroscope this particular evening? Mr John Aldous (or Aldous Morris, as he shall be known)
seems to think there was. He writes a small ode to that effect, viz:
Did he slip or was he pushed?
Was he drunk or did he take a dive?
Did he fall in a heap or go down gracefully?
Why did he do it twice, didn't he get it right the first time?
What has become of Little Egypt when the Squire cannot stay on his own two feet?!
But I must say 'The Men Done Good'
Most sides would have stopped to see if he was all right -
Not us, we danced round him!
Somebody said that when he fell the shock waves were felt in Sudbury!



They're here somewhere!
But, alas, they weren't. The picture (right) shows the effect that key loss can have on a sane (?) Morris Man.
Sobbing his heart out, Pat The Hat said "Everything was going well until Mrs X (as we shall know her, or Barbara to her friends) came and blurted out the fact I'd lost the bloody things in front of the AA guy; I'd have got away with it otherwise.."
After a hefty £875.00 bill and "£10.00 for your trouble mate" P T H threw all caution to the wind and splashed out on a lovely Ice Lolly (right) for his eternally patient partner, Christine.




That most loyal Morris Man, Mr J Aldous has recently been airing the fact that he is a bit disappointed that he does not have a nick name. The Men have given this a great deal of thought. Ideas were mooted such as 'Minimal Morris', 'Can't Be Arsed To Dance Morris', 'Fag In The Mouth While Dancing Morris' and many other suggestions. Finally though, after much deliberation and consideration, the vote was unanimous and the whole side agreed that John Aldous's nick name should be ALDOUS MORRIS. Mr Aldous will be notified in writing. Maybe.


THE DUN COW BARDWELL, i.e. Bangs & Dukes country was our venue on June 2nd. Wow! What a turnout! As you can see from the first official picture (below!) we had virtually a full house! No wonder Squire Parry looked so proud. "I'm so proud", he sobbed. The dancing was marred only by 15 of the men who couldn't match the 'foot perfect' performance of Mr Trevor Newsome. One day we will all be like him.


SQUIRE CALLING.......SQUIRE CALLING......SQUIRE CALLING

Time once again for a our summer recess. Only two or three events this year before we put away our whites, hopefully washed for another year!

Mersea Island (Monday 28th August) - remember it's a paid event so a good turnout please. We always go down a storm at Mersea with a very appreciative crowd. Aaaah! - the sun, the sea, the sand, the socks!

Walton folk festival follows on Saturday September 9th. This is a great little festival with excellent lunchtime dancing in the road alongside several of the sides we know and love. There is usually good entertainment at Walton in the evening, both in the pubs and at the larger venues, so this could be a good one to stay out late!

There's also the possibility of dancing either in Southwold again as the guests of Barley Brigg (September 23rd) or, alternatively, at a new event taking shape on the same date in Colchester - more information to follow when full details are known.

October 7th - an important date: The Horkey! Let's go for it and make this Barn Dance a cracking event and show the Village how it should be done! We are going to need volunteers for many tasks such as ticket sales, food preparation, front of house, posters etc.. It would be worthwhile therefore to have a working party early in August. We should try to get all the tickets sold by mid September. I would say that I am quite happy to run the bar again (drunken old git - Ed).

Two things to think about over the coming weeks:

1. We must ensure all our new members are conversant with all of our dances.
2. We all need to practice our footwork!

The second point really is important - I'm not saying that we need 3ft vertical capers (!) but I think our stepping is getting a little undisciplined! Let's have a really good go at brushing up on the footwork that distinguishes one dance from another!!

So let's use our summer hols to recharge our batteries and finish off the Season on a high to prove, once again, that Little Egypt really is the premier Morris side in East Anglia.

NEVILLE



In the next issue of your soaraway Camel, read about how the Squire stood his ground and trounced the hostile takeover bid from the unknown golf playing hydraulics engineer!!

HELP!

Please send me some copy. If you don't, I'll have no alternative but to print endless pictures of the Squire - or Cleverdon. You have been warned. Send your articles to p.thomson@ukonline.co.uk I look forward to hearing from you.!! Or use pen and paper!!



Page maintained by Steve Clarke, steve@little-egypt.org.uk. Copyright(c) Steve Clarke. Created: 05/08/00 Updated: 10/08/00